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We need to talk about AIDS
Talking about AIDS or sex is not always easy. But when you talk to your children about AIDS, sexuality and other sensitive issues, you are also telling them that you care about their health and happiness.
Many of us have never talked with our children about AIDS and sex, so it may be difficult at first. Don't worry if you or your children feel a little uncomfortable. It will get easier with practice. So why not give it a try?
Let's talk about talking
"But it's hard to talk with my child."
Talking with our children is not always easy, particularly when they become teenagers.
Teenagers worry about acne, weight problems, menstruation, late or early physical development, sex, school pressures, boredom, parental hassles, friendships and money problems.
Parents find it hard to keep up with teenage mood swings and normal challenges to authority as teens bounce back and forth between childhood and adulthood.
But despite the difficulties, parents and their teenaged children do find ways to talk to each other. Be patient with yourself and your children.
"But I'm uncomfortable talking about AIDS and sex."
It is normal to be uncomfortable talking about the difficult issues associated with AIDS and sex. There is a lot of complex information to be learned about AIDS. We also have to examine our own feelings about safe sex, drug use, homosexuality and dealing with illness and death. Discussions about sex may lead to questions about topics such as masturbation, birth control and our own sexual behaviors.
But as we talk about these things, we gradually forget about being uncomfortable. The information becomes easier to understand. By talking about our feelings, we help our children express their feelings. Difficult subjects become easier to handle.
Here are a few ways to encourage your child to continue a discussion.
Door Openers
"What do you think?"
"That's a good question."
"I don't know, but I'll find out."
"I'm trying to understand what you're feeling."
"Do you know what that word means?"
"I'm glad you told me about that."
These answers usually discourage discussion with your child or teenager.
Door Closers
"You're too young."
"Where did you hear that?"
"If you say that word again, I'll... "
"That's none of your business."
"I don't care what your friends are doing."
"That's just for boys (girls)."
"We'll talk about that when you need to know."
Getting started...
Set the scene...
- Choose a time when you and your child are relaxed and have time to talk.
- Talk when you are doing some activity with your child such as traveling in the car, preparing a meal, doing the dishes or doing chores around the house.
- Leave a book or magazine article on AIDS/HIV around the house for your child to read.
- Give a book or magazine article on AIDS/HIV to your child and ask for his or her opinion.
- Post a newspaper clipping on the fridge and then start a conversation about it.
- Before you talk, find out about AIDS/HIV at your local library or by calling local health services.
- Introduce the topic. Even though you may get an "Oh Dad/Mum!" or "Yuck!", it doesn't necessarily mean your child knows it all or doesn't want to talk.
For Openers...
Here are some ways to start talking about AIDS/HIV:
- What have you been learning about AIDS in school?
- I heard a report on the news last night about AIDS. Do you ever talk about AIDS with your friends?
- I read an article that said sharing needles is causing the AIDS virus to spread really quickly. Did they talk to you about AIDS in school?
- Somebody at work said his daughter's class discussed condoms. Have you had any information about that in your class?
- Do you ever think about AIDS?
Teachable moments...
Teachable moments are good times in everyday life to talk about issues such as AIDS:
- at the end of a TV or radio show that has mentioned AIDS;
- when telling your child about an article you have just read on AIDS;
- when somebody gives some information about AIDS which is wrong.
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